If the Truth Be Told......

If the truth be told...  I'm struggling a bit.  Over three years ago I made a decision to lose weight and gain my life back.  I accomplished that goal in a year and have been enjoying my new life ever since.  Maybe enjoying it too much as I've been watching the number slowly but surely creep upward on my scale.  This week I saw it read a number I hadn't seen in three years.  It showed 10 lbs higher than my lowest weight.  Now some of you will read that and roll your eyes.  "10 lbs?  That's it?"  "You've lost 90 so what's the worry with losing 10?"  Some of you will scream at me from the top of your lungs, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!?  YOU'VE WORKED TOO HARD!  YOU MUST GET IT TOGETHER!"  One friend told me that I needed to get in a room with myself and figure it out!  I actually loved that advice.  When struggling with something that could ruin your life, some tough love is just what the doctor ordered.

So get in a room with myself to figure it out is just what I did.  I thought long and hard about what the difference between my life now and two years ago when I reached my weight loss goal.  Here is what I realized in looking at the last six months of my life:

1. Living healthy and keeping the weight off was no longer my priority.  I was too busy to maintain a consistent workout schedule.  Yes I workout, but if the opportunity arises and something else "comes up" - I'm more than happy to cross off my plans to workout.
2. I discovered a new restaurant in Mishawaka, "Fiesta Tapitia" which is a relative to my favorite "Fiesta Mexicana" in Plymouth.  They have the same menu..... AND they serve Mountain Dew.  Can you say, "Kiss of death?"
3. I discovered I am addicted to Mexican food.  I used to just be addicted to Hacienda, but now I'm addicted to the two "Fiesta's" as well.  I was eating Mexican food three times a week.  At 1000 calories per basket of chips and salsa, it's no wonder the scale has been inching upwards.
4. I started to turn to food for comfort instead of God.  Yep, I am a comfort eater to the core.  If things get tough, this girl goes to the fridge.  I had truly gotten a hold of this "habit" for the past three years.  I'm not happy to report I've lost my hold as of late.
5. Laziness.  Lazy mind.  Lazy body.  Lazy heart.

So there you go.... my discoveries.

Now I wanted to keep my discoveries to myself... just a little while longer.... but thanks to my dear husband who cares FAR too much about me to let me go back down the bath of misery - I had to share them outloud.   And we know what that means... A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-B-I-L-I-T-Y!!!   Yep, I STILL need it after all of these years. 

My husband in all of his wisdom said to me after listening to my "discoveries" - "Well, what's your plan?"

Plan?  I hadn't gotten THAT far.  Geesh, I just got in a room alone with myself.  Baby steps for heaven's sake.

Again he said, "What's your plan?"

I could see he was not laying off. 

So together we made a plan.  I've learned over the years that a plan must be realistic or failure will be lurking.  So for me, I had to break it down.  I choose to focus on two changes in the next 30 days to help form the habits that have and will again lead to success.

For the next 30 days, I will do two things: 

1. I will get back to my previous (and successful) eating habits on my lunch hour.  That means I will not eat Mexican at lunch.  I will not eat out a fancy restaurant every day for lunch.  I will choose to eat lighter and healthier a minimum of three days for lunch and eat at my "favorite" spots no more than two days.  Yes, lunch tends to be a problem for me.  If only I could be like my husband and eat the same thing for lunch every day... tuna fish sandwich, Sunchips, a banana and a granola bar.  Someone shoot me right now.
2. I will work out four days a week.  I will put a calendar on the fridge and plot out for the next 30 days, four workouts a week.  I will also be ready for Plan B and Plan C should things come up that thwart my original workout plans.  Anything less than four is unacceptable.

So this is my 30 day Plan.  I'm not focusing on weight loss.  I'm focusing on new habits that will lead to losing these 10 lbs I shed three years ago.  I will not focus on my failures but will only look forward to regaining self control as well as the life of freedom I have come to love in the past few years.

Friends, I'm sorry if this blog has disappointed you.  You're not alone, I am disappointed in myself as well.  I will tell you that I am not giving up.  I WILL be free again!!

It is NOT just another day!

January 1st. Some folks treat it just like any other day. I encourage you. Do not. It' s a special day. It's the first day of a brand new year. 2011 is gone. You can't do a thing about what did or did not transpire last year. You can however do something about 2012. All the hopes and dreams that didn't come true.... all the goals you didn't achieve last year.... you can make happen this year. January 1, 2009 is when I made a decision to lose the weight and keep it off. I have done just that and I thank God I didn't treat New Year's Day just like any other day. If I had, I don't think I would have succeeded in my weight loss efforts. My mind, heart and soul had HOPE that New Year's Day. You have hope too. Today is the day to make the change. Today is the day to believe in yourself. Today is the day to turn it around. Today you begin the life you want, the life you choose. It all begins with a decision. Then it takes one step in the right direction. Life starts NOW.

There is no finish line!

I borrowered the title of this post from my Weight Watcher's leader. She said she was working out in the gym one day and saw a poster of a woman working out... the title of the poster said, "There is no finish line" - a poster by Nike. This really hit home with me. For most people reading this, weight loss is an ongoing battle. Some of us gain weight after having babies. Some gain weight due to emotional eating. Some of us just plain love food and can get carried away over time. No matter what the case may be, maintaining a healthy weight is a battle we will always fight. I am a HUGE believer in weight loss goals and fitness goals. There is a start and there if a finish. But in the land of maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle, there is no finish line. Once we think there is... that's when the weight creeps up and before you know it we're back to being overweight. Choose the journey. Embrace the journey. The rewards are ENDLESS. Feeling good. Looking good. A healthy heart. A healthy life. A longer life. You name it, it's yours for the taking! Get started and enjoy the ride!!!

Family Fitness versus P90X

I recently purchased the P90X workout video series..... I mean, haven't we all? I am usually not tempted to purchase anything from an infomercial, but this time I gave in. I saw the rock solid bodies and I wanted a rock solid body. The likely conclusion is to purchase the videos, right?

So I purchased them and they sat. And they sat. I got a cold. I was busy. I had other excuses too until 29 days after I made the purchase, I finally did one of the workouts. The workout itself was fabulous and doable (for the most part). The part that was NOT doable for ME, was the mere thought of going to my basement for 1 to 1 1/2 hours every day for six days BY MYSELF for the next 90 days. That hour was the longest hour of my life. Upon finishing the video, I boxed up the set and mailed it back just in time for my 30 day money back guarantee.

The older I get, the more I see the value in reality. Accepting myself for who I am. I am never going to be that person who can live in a bubble and exercise all by myself. Not gonna happen. I NEEEEEEED people!!!!! I need someone to notice if I stop exercising. I need someone to notice if I start gaining weight. I NEEEED people. So be it.

So while the mailman was taking the P90X away, Josh and I made a decision for our family to join the Life Plex. Being a part of a gym was not uncommon for me this past year. I do aerobics at Ace Fitness and train with a personal trainer there as well. Both have been INSTRUMENTAL in staying fit and healthy. What I'm talking about here is FAMILY FITNESS! An opportunity for Josh, Hailey and myself to spend time staying fit how we LIKE to stay fit. For me that means aerobics, running (Yeah, I said it!) and personal training. For Josh it's running. For Hailey it's running, playing basketball, jump roping, rock climbing and swimming. By joining the Life Plex we can all do what we want to do!! Therefore we're all excited about spending time at the gym.

I share all this to say, when it comes to getting healthy - please do what you love to do. Taking care of your body is SO IMPORTANT. It's the only body you'll ever have here on this earth. Once you stop taking care of it, you start losing your life one day at a time. Stop trying to convince yourself that you can do it on your own. If you haven't done it yet... then you're probably not going to be able to do it on your own. And that's OK!! I clearly cannot do it on my own. Yes, we all have to make the decision and do the work on our own..... but we will be MOST successful with knowledge, accountability and encouragement from othres.

Take that step..... join a gym. Join Weight Watchers. Join with other people who are like minded and have similar goals as you! It could change your life!!!

The Breakfast of Champions

It's one week after the New Year- and what a week it has been. While I didn't make any "official" New Year's Resolutions, our family has recently begun making healthier choices. It's a bit eye opening when my eight year old said to me, "Mom, some day I want to be healthy like dad."

GULP. "Like dad??"

Not "like mom?"

She was right. While I have lost a fair amount of weight, I'm still not all that healthy. Josh has always been the healthy one..... and our eight year old knows it!

So with that in mind, we thought it a perfect opportunity to grant Hailey her wish sooner rather than later. She has asked that I make her eggs in the morning. While the thought of getting up 1/2 hour earlier than I already do wasn't a bit appealing, the thought of Hailey eating eggs as opposed to Pop Tarts is very exciting to me! So all last week we ditched the Pop Tarts and ate eggs and toast... and some days eggs with fruit smoothies. It makes me feel soooooo good to be helping Hailey be healthier!!

In the meantime, this past week I decided to eat eggs/toast/smoothies right along with Hailey, which meant I needed to ditch the morning Mountain Dew and Panera "Breakfast of Champions" (i.e. scones, crumb cake and/or bagels with cream cheese) I am normally accustomed to. Unfortunately, any caffiene-a-holic understand that when you STOP drinking it, a cruel headache will follow. Like clockwork, I had a four day headache. I had never experienced anything quite like it - I even tried a variety of drugs to kill the pain. Nothing worked. I am happy to report that 6 days later I have reached the threshold and no longer get a headache from not drinking the Dew.

I am truly thrilled about this because I do not want to be in bondage to anything or anyone!!! While drinking Mountain Dew is not terrible in and of itself, RELYING on it too much is! For my body to be addicted to it - IS terrible and certainly not something that I want to be a slave to.

So I'm happy to report that because of reducing my Dew intake (NOT eliminating), I too am eating healthier! Our family is getting healthier one day at a time... one food choice at a time! I'm THRILLED about this! We will press on and continue to make eating healthier a lifestyle for us all!

This is one step to being the ME I was meant to be!

The Me I Want to Be

"The Me I Want to Be." A catchy little phrase I'd like to say I made up myself, but I didn't. It's John Ortberg's new book! The subtitle is "Becoming God's best version of You!" Ohhhhh how I love this book and believe it's the best way to start my New Year's Day post!

While some believe in "New Year's Resolutions" and some do not, I propose a new sort of resolution to us all - to be the best ME you want to be!!!! There is something about a year changing (i.e. from 2010 to 2011) that is BIG! Whether you make New Year's resolutions or not, I believe deep down we all want change in our lives. Some want to lose weight, some want to gain financial freedom, others don't know what specific change they want - they just know SOMETHING has to change!!!

God created us for change. He created us with the intention of growing us into the person He created us to be. He knows our lives are marred by sin. He knows we are often tempted to do things we don't want to do. He knows we are selfish creatures who have the tendency to think about ourselves ahead of anyone else.

The good news is that He knows all of these secret truths about us, and HE LOVES US ANYWAY! He tells us that He has a plan for us... a plan not to harm us but to prosper us! He wants better for us than we do. He knows what's better for us than we do.

So as you ponder 2010 and look forward to 2011, I encourage you to team up with God to become the best ME you want to be. The power for real and lasting change only comes through Jesus Christ. He wants to help us every step of the way. He wants us to be free from the chains that bind us. He wants us to be FREE!!!!!

As I look back on 2010, I have wonderful memories!!! I have been blessed beyond measure by friends, family, co-workers, pastors, neighbors and even strangers. I have made mistakes. I am learning from my mistakes and growing closer to Christ with each and every one of them.

One of the highlights of my year was that it was the first year in 20 years that I wasn't in bondage to food. I wasn't trying to lose weight. I was ENJOYING the fruit of my labor. I barely have a memory prior to 2010 where I wasn't consumed with losing weight. Sweet freedom, my friends.

As I begin a new year, I do so with HOPE. I do so with PURPOSE. I do so with EAGERNESS. I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me. I am excited to see how He continues to make me the ME I want to be. I look forward to overcoming fears. I look forward to trying softer instead of trying harder! I look forward to loving better!

It is my greatest hope and prayer that each and every one of you MAKE it a great year in 2011. Don't fear change, embrace it! If God's in it - it'll be the best change you have ever experienced!

Here's to being the best ME we can be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God bless!
Tara

Are you stuck in a pit?

Some time has passed since I last wrote! Things have calmed down as I'm not training to run the Blueberry Stomp any longer. In fact, someone recently referred to me as a "runner"! I immediately set the record straight; for I am NOT a runner. I am a person who had a dream to run a race she had always dreamed of running! That doesn't make me a runner but it does make me someone who realizes I can accomplish ANYTHING I set my mind to.

I was recently reminded of that important fact in other areas of my life. The fact that if I want change, I can choose change. I was reminded once again that I am not victim to consequences of bad choices, but rather I have the ability, the right, and the power to make the changes in my life I want to make.

I recently read an AMAZING book written by Beth Moore, "Get Out of That Pit." This book spoke to my heart like no other book in my life!! Beth talks about how we can find ourselves in a pit. We are either thrown into a pit by no wrong doing of our own. Life circumstances have pushed us into the pit. Loved one's choices have sent us into the pit but we choose to remain in the pit out of self pity. We can also end up in a pit by just not paying attention. We sort of tried to straddle a fence and wound up knee deep in mud and mire. Lastly, we can end up in a pit by our very choice. We want what we want when we want it, and as a result we're paying the consequences in a big ole hole that seems impossible to get out of!

GOOD NEWS friends.... we are NOT stuck in a pit! It doesn't matter how you ended up in your pit, you CAN get out!! God loves each and every one of us. He knows the things we struggle with. He knows how we ended up in our pit. Even if we caused our own fall, He wants us OUT OF THAT PIT - NOW!!!!!! You're not alone. Help is on the way!!! Help is just a choice away!!!

I am out of pit that trapped me for so many years! I can't express to you the feeling of freedom from this pit! Yes, we may find ourselves in a pit for other reasons, but we must remember what we've learned along the way so we don't stay stuck in new pits for long! We were never promised an easy life.... but friends, it could be SO MUCH EASIER if we stick close to Christ and lean on Him for the strength to help us GET OUT of the pit once and for all!

From one pit dweller to another.... let's get out of dodge and enjoy the life God gave us!!!!